Chapter 1: The Reduction of Expectations

I suppose I should start by explaining myself. Because really, what right does one have to essentially self-publish a book? Well, here was my logic:

1. It’s a short story collection, not a “novel.”

2. All of the stories have already been published. So they’ve been “vetted” already. This should, ideally, distinguish this book from every other Lulu-printed piece of shit that ends up for sale on Amazon.

3. Since the collection is a Kindle download, I can avoid the costs of printing and paper and all that jazz and simply charge what I consider a fair price for a 150-page short story collection: roughly four bucks. Yes, $4.

So after about a dozen or so hours of revising, along with the untold number of hours proofing by the volunteer authors who make up Brew City Press, I began formatting for the Kindle, running into a variety of wonderfully terrifying problems until, finally, the book was finished and ready to go.

It was time to get the word out.

 

Step One: Hear Ye, Hear Ye

My first step this week was to get a press release put out there. For this, I paid an untold sum to an agency, which sent the press release nationwide. The release offered review copies to all interested.

I then waited. I admit I expected something along a dozen or so responses, which would then balloon into a few hundred as the reviews spread like wildfire. A cover shot on TIME Magazine wasn’t out of the question–it never is, in one’s fantasies–which would then culminate with an offer from a major publisher.

“Denied!” I would say, hanging up on the hapless editor. For you see, I’d already conquered the Amazon Kindle market … publishers were a dying breed and nothing more! This was the future, right here! Short story collections on Kindle could be fairly priced and people–finally!–would read again!

 

Actual number of responses: 0.

Apparently, this is going to be much more difficult than originally expected.

About grendelguy

Some years ago I made the mistake of deciding to become an author. I literally chose to dedicate hours per day to writing stories no one will read, editing stories no one will read, and sending out stories no one will read to publishers who most often reject me offhand.

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